Another day goes by and I have added another DJ to add to my "Useless Sack of Shit" list. This list is reserved for only the lowest scum in the world and deserve to be placed on the list for varied reasons. Here are the top three on the list:

Nickelback
Creed
Spike from WYSP

I was a DJ for a moment and realized one thing, a computer could do my job. I moved onto other pastures where I couldn't be replaced. Sure editing and cutting audio would still need to be done, but the act of playing music on the radio can...and is mostly...done by computers.

Let's start with some background. WYSP used to be the hardcore rock station in Philadelphia. It used to have Howard Stern in the mornings and played rock that had a harder edge to it: older Metallica, Godsmack, etc. Their rival WMMR was the classic rock station opting to play the classics, AC/DC, Led Zeppelin, The Rolling Stones, rather than new rock.

Then someone at Clear Channel decided that WYSP would be better as a classic rock station and they play the "best of the 70s, 80s, and 90s." Spike is their midday DJ (10am-3pm).

Spike played Love Walks In by Van Hagar around the noon hour. I normally can't reach for my dial fast enough when a Van Hagar song hits my radio. But the song was ending and I was curious as to what might be played next.

Spike jumps on the mic and says something to the effect of: "There are Dave guys, There are Sammy guys. I am not ashamed, I am a Sammy guy." What Spike meant to say was: "I enjoy a good rogering by real men. Please stick your meat thermometer in my squish biscuit."

The only people who prefer Van Hagar are pussies. I haven't met one man who prefers Van Hagar over Van Halen. I don't even acknowledge the existence of Van Hagar. I have never seen Van Hagar and I never will.

Sammy is an inferior front man when compared to the Jewish God, David Lee Roth. Actually, to be more in line with conventional Jewish nomenclature, like the term Yhwh, all vowels should be removed from God's name...so Dvd L Rth.

Dvd had the pizzazz, the attitude, the swagger needed to front Van Halen. His small lounge act made an arena feel like they were in a small club with Van Halen. His campy sexual innuendo, his pompous style, and his gymnastic high kicks have him leaps and bounds over any other front man. His conversational style of singing making it feel like he was telling a story about a Hot Teacher or a racecar. Dave wanted to talk about sex, booze, and cars.

Sammy wanted to talk about love, feelings, and emotions. He was boring when...wait a second, if you can't figure out why you should prefer Dvd L Rth over Sammy Hagar, then maybe you need to pull a train down at the Y, you pussy. Turn in your man card and have a guy climax on your chest and ass. Swallowing cum is about all you are good for if you prefer Sammy Hagar over Dvd L Rth.

Fuck you Spike. I will never listen to your "show" and I will never take your opinion seriously. Any man who prefers Van Hagar over Diamond Dave is dead to me.