I apologize to the Nightmares from Toronto on this one. It has taken me a really long time to write this review. One reason is because I am getting married in like two weeks and have been knee deep in strange pussy since it is the last time I will ever get it. And one drunken night I woke up with a sticky back and a hurt ass. Don't know what happened there.

That is no excuse as to why I haven't done the review because I have listened to the album no less then 3,826 times. It was the soundtrack for fucking over the past two weeks. I can't get enough punk when fucking. The music lends itself to air punching and donkey punching the women unfortunate enough to leave their drink unattended for my roofies.

The best way to describe The Nightmares self titled EP is imagine you hear a knock on your trailer door. You think it is the Craigslist hooker you emailed over an hour ago. You open the door up and see four badly dressed rock n rollers and one has a shotgun. Before you can open your mouth, they blast rock salt directly at your crotch. That's right, The Nightmares are a shotgun blast of rock salt to your crotch. The pain and burning is just old school garage rock and punk injected into your system cleansing your soul from the watered down Nickelback shit you have been listening to.

The EP begins with a yelling mantra "Stand Up and Fight, Fight for your lives." It almost acts as a mantra for the rest of the album. The track hides a bit of Nick Hall's vocal ability, but that gets showcased in other songs like You're Too Late and All My Friends are Nameless.

The band uses Ramones inspired guitar licks and punk beats to create catchy sing alongs and infectious youth anthems. Like a good sex partner Dave Fulton switches up his ripping solos. Sometimes he makes you wait in painful anticipation and then sometimes he just power thrusts them in your face. The latter case can be found in the song We're Alright. This song has some of the coolest guitar work on the EP. Combine that with the fist pumping, hip thumping chorus, I was singing along while punching babies in the maternity ward.

I can't really choose a favorite song on the EP mainly because depending on my mood each song was a favorite. You can check out their MySpace site for tour dates and you can buy the EP there. Well, why are you still reading this...GO!