The Sword have gained a lot of notoriety since their formation in 2003. They have opened for the likes of Dragonforce, Lamb of God, Lacuna Coil, and are currently crossing the country with Metallica.

No one can accuse The Sword of being lazy. Check out their 2008 touring schedule here. They played almost every day last year and they may have played just as many shows as Bob Wettner jerked off last year. Almost.

The Sword have an interesting name. Is it a reference to the mighty sword of Excalibur? Maybe. How about some type of Viking or Norse broadsword? Could be, but I am guessing it had to do with how many cocks are in the audience. The Sword brought out almost every guy in a 15 mile radius who was into heavy metal. The only estrogen in attendance was a woman who was clearly lost and two of the bar wenches. I don't recommend bringing your lady friend, unless you want her occasionally groped and constantly hounded.

OK enough about the crowd, on with the bands. The Stinking Lizaveta opened the show. They are a power trio from Philadelphia that is all instrumental except for a few screams into the mic. They weren't too bad, but all instrumental bands don't really do it for me unless it is a giant orchestra. They were solid musicians, but really boring.

Yanni Papadopoulos is the lead guitarist and he had all the cliché rock poses and rock tricks (using the edge of the amp to play the guitar). Now the bass player, Alexi Papadopoulos, played an upright electric bass which I am sure jarred years of bubble gum sediment in my intestines free. He was so powerful on that instrument and it shook the right side of the Note. Cheshire Agusta, was the drummer and looked like Linda Hamilton from Terminator. I half expected a Cyberdyne Systems Model 101 to break through the wall with John Connor in tow. There were several men there that could have passed as the T-1000, so it is possible that I witnessed the beginning of Judgment Day. The Stinking Lizaveta are good if you are into that heavy metal instrumental stuff.

The highlight of the evening was another trio, the Year Long Disaster. They were the complete opposite of the boring metal trio that proceeded them. These guys are not only excellent musicians, but also entertainers. They worked the crowd while they ripped through songs off their 2006 release Year Long Disaster.

There were a couple of songs I didn't recognize, so I will assume they were new ones. The new songs are every bit as awesome as the ones off Year Long Disaster and still have that ability to make me erect in the Pampers area. I know the band goes into the studio and says "Well what will make that douche Craig Wettner from Blogs N' Roses hard. How about this combination?"  They are usually right.

I thought they were infinitely better tonight than they were with Motorhead (see review here). I didn't notice how hard Brad hit the drums until tonight in a smaller venue. He hit those drums like a pimp slapping a whore who owes him money. Rich is still the coolest mother fucker this side of the Mississippi and plays the bass with skillful, deft fingers. If I were a woman, he would be the man I would be trying to get to strum my little man in the boat. Daniel still prances around on stage and is able to get the crowd responding to him, all the while soloing and crooning. The Year Long Disaster stole the show tonight. I wanted them to play another 40 minutes. But they were not the headliners. That honor went to Austin, Texas' own The Sword.

The Note in West Chester filled up quickly and the band took the stage around 11:15pm. The Sword are HEAVY riff rockers like Black Sabbath but with an early Metallica vibe. The bad part is they have the polish of 2000 Metallica. The Sword played with a polished gusto, but were a bit too clean for my liking. I like my heavy metal like my women, fast, dirty, and distorted - think Motorhead. But I can't deny the musicianship of The Sword. These kids have done their homework and studied their idols well. At times, I thought I was listening to Metallica or a new version of Black Sabbath.

The Sword turned the volume up to 11, which I believe blew out an amp. There were two loud pops and the distinct smell of fired electronics. But that could have been the shaggy, 20 something who clearly hadn't showered since The Sword formed in 2003. When the amp blew, you couldn't hear Kyle Shut's guitar. With my strong powers of deduction, I concluded it was his amplifier that blew. Thanks to the quick work of their ballsy roadie with an LA Dodgers hat (he clearly doesn't value his life since he worse an L.A. in Philadelphia) they were able to fix the problem and efficiently blow out my left ear drum.

The Sword is still a relatively young band, choosing to focus on playing perfectly over interacting with the crowd who paid money to see them. This is where time on the road will give them the confidence and the ability to step out from their instruments and start to play with the crowd. I also hope that opening up for the legendary Machine Head and Metallica will wear off on them and give the band that much needed stage presence that the Year Long Disaster has.

If you have money left over from Uncle Sam stealing it and the stock market raping it, go see the Year Long Disaster. It will be the best money you have spent since that hooker on prom night. If you still have money left over, go see The Sword. If you STILL have money left over, send it to me and I will send you a lovely Blogs N' Roses sticker.